A Real New England Girl by Anna I. Parsons 1. The Shower 2. Oxford County 3. The Stranger and the Girl 4. The Youth and the Girl 5. Pansy and Richard Go Trading 6. The Marvelous Storyteller 7. The Dinner 8. The The Minister Comes for Tea 9. Pansy's Father 10. Pansy and Her Mother 11. Poland Springs 12. The Birthday Cake 13. Ned Patterson Comes for a Visit 14. The Blue Berrying Party 15. The Beginning of Wisdom 16. The Tempted and the Penitent 17. The Concert 18. Stanley's Ride 19. The Bench by the Wayside 20. The Banker and the Widow 21. The Bag of Nuts 22. How They Kept Thanksgiving at Little Farm 23. Hardly a Merry Christimas 24. A Call Down and a Caller 25. The Pride of Mrs. Bradford 26. A Happy New Year 27. Amusement and Winter Sport 28. Kim 29. Richard, the Lion Hearted 30. A Tour of the White Mountains 31. Talking Over the Trip with Henry Bright 32. Thoughts That Lie Too Deep for Words 33. Economics 34. His Toast 35. The Busy Haunts of Man 36. Christmas in New York 37. The Last Night of Their Visit 38. The Language Understood by All 39. Sugaring Off 40. Correspondence 41. Commencement 42. Conclusion Afterward

CHAPTER XL. Correspondence "As keys do open chests, So letters open breasts." -- James Howell Little Farm, April 2, 191__ Dear Stanley: Please excuse my writing with pencil and on paper from my school pad. The note paper and ink are downstairs, and if I write there, I would have to read the letter out loud, and this is a very special, private, painful letter. Ruth and Trifles are engaged. O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! It hurts me so to think about it, I had to write it quick. The first inkling I had that Cupid was hovering around our house was a week ago Saturday at the sugaring-off, and it made me ill; I had to go to bed, and mother made me take some horrid medicine. I am inclined toward Christian Science, but mother is not. All last week I walked around as if it wasn't me. Saturday afternoon I thought I would get away from thinking about it for a while by going down to the sap camp and keeping Richard company. He had to tend fire and watch the pan while Uncle Will gathered the sap so the buckets would not overflow between Saturday night and Monday morning. Richard and I played checkers when he wasn't busy. About five o'clock, Uncle Will said we could go up to the house. The snow was soft and we both had on snow shoes, and it was like living again to see who could walk the fastest in them. When we arrived at the house, I had forgotten all about that child Cupid, but imagine my surprise on going in to find Trifles and mother and Ruth sitting in the parlor and all looking much pleased over something. Ruth said, "Pansy and Richard, I want to introduce you to your future brother-in-law." I was so dazed, I just nodded, but Richard went over and shook hands, and then Trifles turned to me. I don't know whether I held out my hand or not, but I do know that Trifles put his arm around me. My heart went like an egg beater, I was so embarrassed, and I prayed then and there I would die, but I didn't, I lived to hear Trifles say, "I hope you are going to like me very much, Pansy." I tried to say yes for Ruth's sake, but I could hardly articulate a sound. As soon as Trifles released me, Richard and I went out in the kitchen to talk things over. Mother and I got supper ready and Trifles stayed. While we were eating, he spoke about the long slide we had a year ago last month over the hills down past your place and of what a narrow escape we had from the muck hole. Richard spoke up and told him how my arm was hurt in the escape, and then he looked as if something hurt him too, and reached over and took my hand in his, so that my heart began beating again as if it would jump out of its socket. This was presumption No. 2 on his prospective kinship; but the worst is yet to come. He stayed for a while in the evening, and when he was going away, Richard and I both got up and said, "Good night, Professor Thayer!" He turned around to me and said, "Couldn't you call me Thaddeus just once, Pansy?" That was the hardest ordeal of all. I couldn't. Stanley, I just couldn't say that name. He looked very serious about it, and finally bent over and kissed me. I don't know how I ever lived through it; I don't know how I am going to endure the future. Ruth just laughs at everything as if it pleased her very much to have him take so much notice of her family. She says it isn't wise to make the engagement public until after the school term is over, but she wanted Richard and me to know about it. Trifles isn't going to teach school any more after this year. He has an uncle who owns a mill up at Rumford Falls, and he is going into business with him. I wish I could see you Stanley; I wish you were going to meet Richard and me at the half-way tree tomorrow -- or just me, because Richard isn't with me in this matter. He likes Trifles, and says he thinks the reason he takes such liberties with me is because of our past differences, and Trifles wants to show that he hasn't any malice toward me on that account; or else it is because he needs to practice a little caring for a woman, because a married man has to pet and kiss his wife once in a while, and it wouldn't be dignified to practice on Ruth because of her being a teacher. Do I have to stand for such things because he is to be my brother-in-law? If I do, I'd rather Ruth would go as husbandless as a lot of women I could name. I wish Kim were here. I'd let him lick all over my face and then see if Trifles would want to kiss me. Today when I went into classes, I had to look at the ceiling or the floor all the time and didn't dare raise my eyes in Trifles's direction until he called on me. It seemed as if the very tone of his voice had changed, it was so soft and appealing-like. It was in the Higher Algebra class, and I managed to get to the board in some way and worked out the problem assigned me. Then I had to explain it and that made me feel some better. When I can forget that Trifles wants to be my brother-in-law, and remember only that he is my professor, I feel so much better mentally. Please, Stanley, write me right away, and address the letter to me, and enclose it in an envelope to Jerry Pike, and Thursday night, after school, Richard and I will go down and get it. Then Ruth won't need to know how very much upset I am over what has happened. You can write me what is the proper treatment of a prospective brother-in-law with whom I have had differences and am not very anxious to welcome into the family, but who is himself apparently anxious to be regarded as an affectionate and valuable addition to the same. I always wanted Ruth to marry a minister, and so you see Trifles has smashed one of my idols in preventing her from doing so, and I've always been sore on iconoclasts since you told me they destroyed so many works of art in the old country during the reformation. Please don't delay writing, because it is on the verge of mud time, and when the travelling gets so bad we can't go back and forth in the school team, we are going to board with Phil Morris's mother until it becomes settled going, and if you delay answering, it might be sometime before I would get the letter. I can't speak to mother about the matter, because she would tell Ruth; I can't speak to the girls at school about it, because the engagement is not yet announced. I have tried to talk it over with Richard and he isn't with me, so I've only got you to help me. Even if I could ask the others, I'd rather have your advice on the matter. Your true friend, Pansy Bradford. New York City, April 4, 191__ Dear Pansy, Your letter just received, and your news was indeed surprising. I regret that I have not yet had the privilege of meeting Professor Thayer that I might better advise you in this troublesome matter. He is a college graduate and, therefore, I assume a gentleman. The fact that he is acceptable to Ruth and has been principal of your High School for three years are facts in his favor. He seems to be trying to live up to the great principle, "Love one another." I cannot but feel that his conduct toward you is merely to show how magnanimous he can be after a serious misunderstanding. If it is such as to continue to annoy you, you had better speak frankly to Ruth about it, and have her lay down rules of behavior for her affianced husband. There is nothing like starting this human game right, and you certainly do not want to stand for overtures of affection that are not pleasing, and no gentleman will thrust them upon you. Since he is Ruth's choice, and since he is acceptable to your mother and Richard, wouldn't it be well for your own happiness to try to think of him as a friend? A misunderstanding is apt to so bias our judgment that the other person's mistakes rise like mountain peaks, while their merits shrink in proportion. Why not wipe the slate clean of all past records relating to Professor Thayer, apply the inductive method (watch him as you watch an experiment in chemistry) and draw your conclusions accordingly. You may then discover so much beauty in his character, that you will look forward to the wedding day with pleasure and gratification instead of pain and disparagement. I hope this little homily will help you. I hope you will not continue to be unhappy over that which you cannot prevent, and would not prevent if your could, for surely Ruth is deserving of the happiness which flows from association with the man she loves. Pardon me if I digress for a moment to ask a favor. We have now gotten our plans arranged for the summer. The last of May, we start on a yachting cruise around the Greater and Lesser Antilles and some of the islands of the Atlantic. The Hewletts and Ned and Toots Patterson will accompany us. Just before I leave, I shall ship Kim down to Jerry. Will you and Richard be kind enough to look after his entertainment until I come, which will be about the 3rd of July? Anxiously awaiting to hear that the horizon has cleared, and assuring you of my deep interest in all that saddens or gladdens you, I remain, Your devoted but unworthy counselor, Stanley B. Winthrop. Little Farm, April 23, 191__ Dear Stanley, I applied the inductive method to Professor Thayer, and I enclose the result. I confess I'm disappointed, but I'm not so depressed as I was. Try to induct something worth while got me used to thinking about the engagement, and then, so I would not be so tongue-tied again, I tried repeating the name Thaddeus three times every morning. It sounds quite classical, being a name with three syllables, though not so classical as Spilliopolis and Agrippiopulos, and I got used to thinking of Trifles in connection with agreeable things in repeating the name so much. Then, while we were boarding at Mrs. Morris's, Ruth and I had a talk, and Ruth said he was named for a great and much wronged soldier whom his mother admired so much that she wanted to perpetuate the name by giving it to her son, and so, for Henry Bright's sake, I've got to respect him on that account. Ruth said he never had a brother or a sister, and he had told her a number of times, that he would think himself rich if he had some one like Richard and me to be with him evenings and Sundays, and so I've got to be kind to him on that account. Ruth said, as Rumford Falls is not very far from Paris, we shall see each other very often, and that when I come to visit her, we will go and see the falls of the Great Androscoggin, which descend in a succession of victorious leaps 160 feet, and so, through Trifles, I've got something to look forward to on that account. Your letter and Ruth's talk helped pacify me, and, as I've already written, I've gotten used to thinking about the engagement now, so in spite of the fact that the inductive method hasn't brought out anything satisfactory, it has helped me in other ways. Trifles hasn't made any more overtures of friendship, so I hope this little thunder storm of joy over the engagement has passed, and will not be repeated. If it is, I am sort of resigned, because I would rather stand for quite a few things than to have Ruth know how unhappy I have been over her choice. Richard and I will certainly give our best attention to Kim when he comes, and you cannot send him too quick to please us. I hope your yachting trip will be as full of pleasure as our motor trip was last summer. While you are away, I shall get my diploma from High School. I am to have a class part, as I was among the highest in rank. Mother has my white dress done already, and Henry Bright is going to give me the finest roses in his garden for a bouquet. Your grateful friend, Pansy. -------- RESULT OF APPLYING THE FOUR CANONS OF THE INDUCTIVE METHOD TO TRIFLES. 1. By agreement: a) A nightmare is an oppressive and stupefying influence. Trifles is an oppressive and stupefying influence. Trifles is a nightmare. b) Man is like to vanity. Trifles is a man. Trifles is like to vanity. c) A poor man is better than a liar. Trifles is a poor man. Trifles is better than a liar. d) Man that is born of woman is of few days and full of trouble. Trifles is a man born of woman. Trifles is of few days and full of trouble. Deduction a) Nightmare -- something we don't like to have. Therefore, Trifles is something we don't like to have. b) Vanity -- something to avoid. Therefore, Trifles is something to avoid. c) Better than a liar -- an equivocal recommendation. Therefore, Trifles comes equivocally recommended. 1) Of few days -- he won't last long. Therefore, Ruth may be left a widow. 2) And full of trouble -- having all he can contain. Therefore, Ruth may even wish to be left a widow. 2. The method of difference: a) Whenever students are present, Trifles looks wise. Whenever students are absent, Trifles looks mad. Cause of Trifles looking wise, students. b) Whenever Ruth is at church, Trifles sits obliquely in his pew. Whenever Ruth is not at church, Trifles sits straightforward in his pew. Cause of Trifles sitting obliquely in his pew, Ruth. c) Whenever ladies are present, Trifles uses choice English. Whenever ladies are not present, Trifles says "punk," "Classy" and "Great Caesar's ghost." (Richard told me this). Cause of Trifles using choice English, ladies. d) Whenever students are present, Trifles sits erect. Whenever students are not present, Trifles sits with feet tilted above his head. Cause of Trifles sitting erect, students. Deduction a) Trifles is A wise looker when students are near; (Therefore a second Mr. Wordly Wiseman). b) An oblique sitter when Ruth doth appear; (Therefore, is out of plumb with things at times). c) A user of choice English when ladies call; (Therefore, is probably in need of watching). d) To tilt up his feet, he likes best of all; (Therefore, a man of selfish tastes). 3. Method of concomitant variations: Observation 1: Trifles is a serious, stern, cold man. Observation 2: Whenever Ruth is in proximity, Trifles is cheerful. Observation 3: Whenever Ruth and I are in proximity, Trifles is cheerful and affectionate. Deduction Cheerfulness and affection in Trifles are contingent upon Ruth and I both being in proximity at the same time. (NOTE: This result does not agree with other cases of engaged young men in this town. I have heard both Frances Stuart and Mabel Lawson say their older sisters' affianced husbands could be both cheerful and affectionate when they were in proximity without their presence. They have both surreptitiously looked into the parlor at different times, and know this to be a fact). 4. Method of residual variation: Observation 1: Trifles is a serious, stern, straightforward man who does not embrace and kiss girl pupils when calling at their homes. Observation 2: Trifles varied his usual conduct when he called at our home on March 31st. Observation 3: Other men vary their conduct of seriousness, sternness and straightforwardness when a girl comes into such juxtaposition as to attract and draw them from a serious, stern and straightforward course. Deduction Trifles varied his conduct from a cause of like nature as that causing other men to vary their conduct. (NOTE: I have incidentally talked this matter over with other people, and all agree that observation 3 is correct, but this puts all the blame on me for what Trifles did. I don't think I like the Inductive Method much any way). Ned was present in the study when Stanley received the last letter, and came over to Stanley's desk as usual when he knew mail had arrived from Paris. "Aren't you going to show it to me?" he asked, when Stanley had laid the letter down with an amused smile playing over his lips. "That depends on whether or not you want to learn of how adeptly Pansy can epitomize a member of our sex." "Of course, I want to learn that, then I may have the secret of the distinction she makes between you and me." Ned sat down to read the letter, and very soon such evidence of hilarity exuded from their study, that a student passing removed the sign from the door reading, "This is my busy day," and breaking in on Stanley and Ned unceremoniously, threw it on the desk. "Either take down your sign or live up to it!" he said, and left again as suddenly as he had entered. "Oh, woe is me!" said Ned, when he had finished reading the enclosure. "If Pansy hadn't as much heart as head, the best chap in the world might look in vain for favor from those eyes of blue." Click Here for Chapter 41